One Month and Counting...

I cannot believe it's been 1 month already...and we've survived!!!

I've been completely humbled by the addition of this sweet, cuddly, sometimes crying, sometimes screaming bundle of joy to my life.  While it's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, it's also the best.  Thank you for making my life complete Cookie.

A NICU nurse had asked us if we'd named Cookie after the song that came out in the 70's. We had no idea what she was talking about and Nick found it on YouTube...we bought the song on iTunes and Nick plans on dancing to it at her wedding one day...I know, that's a long way away, but we do like thinking about it.



Lyrics to the song:

And Aubrey was her name,
A not so very ordinary girl or name.
But who's to blame?
For a love that wouldn't bloom
For the hearts that never played in tune.
Like a lovely melody that everyone can sing,
Take away the words that rhyme it doesn't mean a thing.

And Aubrey was her name.
We tripped the light and danced together to the moon,
But where was June.
No it never came around.
If it did it never made a sound,
Maybe I was absent or was listening too fast,
Catching all the words, but then the meaning going past,

But God I miss the girl,
And I'd go a thousand times around the world just to be
Closer to her than to me.

And Aubrey was her name,
I never knew her, but I loved her just the same,
I loved her name.
Wish that I had found the way
And the reasons that would make her stay.
I have learned to lead a life apart from all the rest.
If I can't have the one I want, I'll do without the best.

But how I miss the girl
And I'd go a million times around the world just to say
She had been mine for a day.





One of the only times I've been able to get her to nap without being swaddled.

 


Hey...the partay's over here!

 

Reflection...

As we're closing in on Cookie's one month birthday, I've been thinking about my pregnancy and labor and delivery...thought I would do one last throw back to the old format during pregnancy...my friend I stole the idea from did one and it was quite cute.

TOTAL WEIGHT GAIN: 30 lbs throughout the pregnancy (plus about 10 lbs of cheeseburger weight from the first trimester).  It's nice to lose instant weight once the baby comes, I dropped about 10 lbs in the 2 days I was in the hospital, but was extremely swollen and puffy after coming home.  Most of that weight took about a week, maybe a little more to come off.  Weight loss has continued though and I've lost an addition 5 lbs since then. I've now officially lost 25 lbs and have the 5 lbs plus the 10 lbs of cheeseburger weight left (and I haven't started exercising, but have been taking walks every day - waiting for that 6 week post partum OK to begin). 

MOVEMENT: Cookie is a squirmy worm, especially during her active part of sleep.  She also makes loud noises and cries a bit during that phase of sleep.  She fooled us for a little while and we'd go get her and hold her and end up waking her up.  Now I wait a couple of minutes to make sure she's actually awake.  Nick has a harder time waiting and I have to restrain him at times, but more often than not she cries and screams for a minute or 2 and then passes back out.

It's strange to look at her little hands, feet, elbows, and legs...these are the things that have been poking at me and kicking me for 9 months.  They seem familiar and yet are so strange to me.

CRAVINGS: I still haven't had a drop of alcohol or caffeine (even with these long nights and days).  Caffeine would help, but I'm still restraining...alcohol - not sure why I keep restraining, but haven't done it yet...I thought that would be one of the first things I'd indulge in (either a glass of wine or a micro brew), but I just haven't been interested - maybe it's more like haven't had the energy.

One thing I have been crazy about is sushi...can't get enough although I've tried to restrain since it's so expensive.

SYMPTOMS: Symptoms that stopped post baby: missing feet, heartburn, spicy food aversion (although Cookie doesn't particularly care for spicy foods), crazy dreams, frequent urination (yea!), mild constipation (in part due to stool softeners they give you post birth), frequent hip pain, insomnia (although I don't sleep due to the call of a hungry baby), shortness of breath, swelling of feet and hands, uterine discomfort,general feeling of uncomfortableness, nasal congestion

Symptoms that are continuing: Emotional ups and downs (probably much to Nick's disappointment), major forgetfulness, lower back pain (now from carrying an infant around), faint linea nigra (not sure when this is supposed to go away), minimal stretch marks on left and right hip, left and right inner thigh and lower left quadrant of stomach, extreme fatigue (which used to be mild), very mild carpal tunnel in left hand (the majority is gone and the left hand is still slowing getting better.  I think I have residual swelling because of the IV placement - my rings still don't fit.), fabulous pregnancy hair (not sure when this is supposed to go away)

New symptoms: In my blog about symptoms I'm glad I didn't get, I noted gas.  Well, it's kind of reared it's ugly head post pregnancy...not sure why, I feel bad for Nick.  Lot's of icky stuff in the girl bits, but it's been felt better since about 1 -2 weeks post Cookie's arrival.  I was able to wean myself off the Percocet about 4 days post Cookie and off the Ibuprofen 8 days post Cookie.

BELLY BUTTON: It's an innie again, but it's bigger than what it was...my belly is jiggly (sorry if that's TMI) and I'm hoping it shrinks back down as I work to tighten everything back up...again, not to start until the 6 week post partum visit.

PREPARATIONS: Carpet got installed the day after Cookie's arrival...Nick had to leave the hospital, but it only took a couple of hours.  All baseboards made it in while Nick took 2 weeks off for Cookie's arrival and our family room and great room are done and beautiful!

MILESTONES: Cookie arrived.  We've stopped calling her Cookie for now...we don't want to confuse her with different names, but plan on calling her it again once she's a bit older.

WEEKLY WISDOM: You can never be totally prepared for this event, no matter how many books you read and how many people you talk to.  A big tip I have is brush up on/learn about infant care and parenting philosophies before baby's arrival.  I was so wrapped up in labor and delivery, I didn't think to really research this.  Doing it once baby is here is much harder.
 
One other piece of wisdom - don't panic if you don't know what to do.  I've had several moments of this when Cookie has been crying and I know for a fact she's not hungry because she literally just ate.  Take a breath and try to remain calm.  Your baby knows if you're upset and I firmly believe it upsets her even more.  You're only human and you're figuring things out too...I'm still not all the way there and have had my moments of tears (thankfully Nick has been home each time this has happened so he can take Cookie at that moment so I can have a good cry and collect myself).  Being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever done because I don't have the answers and Cookie expects me to have them...but those moments when you get it right - I feel like Supermom and no one can touch me.
 
Last piece of wisdom - lean on your hubby.  He may not do things the way you do them or as quickly as you do them, but he's figuring it out too.  Nick has been a huge support and has been super involved to which I'm totally grateful.  He's also taken some abuse to my very tired mood which is a whole new level of crazy...I've found out that lack of sleep makes me crazier than being 30 lbs pregnant.  He really deserves a medal.

Cookie's First Valentine's Day

Cookie celebrated her first Valentine's Day!  She had 2 wardrobe changes during the day...first one was after a bit of a diaper accident, the second one was to get back into the original outfit after Cookie threw up on the second wardrobe change and all clothes were washed.  Such is the life of a 2 1/2 week old.



I wouldn't let mommy get a good shot of the onsie so you can read it - it says "You can call me Sweetheart".  This is just before I threw up all over it.  Hence the second wardrobe change.



This was the original outfit I had the blow out in, mommy washed it and after I threw up in the second outfit, I was put  back into this outfit.  It says "My First Valentine's Day".



2 Weeks Old!

Today was Cookie's 2 Week Birthday.  I can't believe she's been a part of our lives for 2 weeks now.  We had our 2 week follow up appointment with the Pediatrician.  Cookie is still 21 inches long, but has gained to 9 lbs even.  I was worried she wasn't getting enough to eat because she'd only nurse for roughly 10 - 15 minutes and wouldn't switch sides, but I guess I haven nothing to worry about.  Probably way TMI, but I'm also making a TON of milk.  I now pump twice a day because I get so uncomfortable and pump 8 - 10 oz after her feeding in the morning and at night.

Anyhow, we're still doing well.  Nick goes back to work tomorrow so it will be the first day Cookie and mom fend for themselves.  The only downer right now is Cookie's Circadian rhythm is completely off.  She likes to sleep from 3:30AM to 9 PM with small bouts of wakefulness, but then likes to be completely alert and party like a rock star from 9 PM to 3:30 AM.  Ugh.  We tried to explain to her that mommy and daddy are old and we partied like rock stars when we were younger, but she won't listen.  Pediatrician noted that Circadian rhythm will right itself by 4 months...umm 4 months?

We've been doing some work to try to help her along...waking her up at regular intervals and trying to keep her awake and keeping things dark and quiet at night.  Hasn't worked so far, but I keep reminding myself she is only 2 weeks old.

Another side note, yesterday was Cookie's due date.  It was a weird day to think she was supposed to arrive on that day and we'd already had the joy of her for 13 days.




Totally stealing this idea from my friend, Rachel, who did this with her first.  Look for a monthly shot to track Cookie's growth.

 

Pregnancy Symptoms I'm Thankful I Did NOT Get...

I just wanted to share some of the terrible pregnancy symptoms I'm thankful I didn't get while Cookie was still holed up in my belly...

• Gas - Nick would beg to differ, but it really wasn't any different than pre-pregnancy.  I did have a phase where I burped a lot at the end of the first/beginning of the second trimester, but some of my girlfriends have told me stories about their gas and let's just say Nick should be very, very, very grateful.
• Stretch marks - I did get those minimal ones on my hips and the inside of my thighs, but they were VERY small and few and far between...I'll take them.  On tragedy...after delivery I noticed a few very small ones on my stomach (the bottom left quadrant).  Not optimal, but I'll still take it to the road map I was expecting.
• Facial hair - I don't personally know anyone that had this, but I've read about it and I'm very glad it didn't happen to me.
• Excess drooling - I did wake up with a wet pillow a few times, but it was reserved for night time.  I didn't notice any difference during the day.
• Something called "lightening crotch" - I read it's like your lady parts were used for batting practice.  Can't really imagine what this would actually be, but thankful this did not happen to me.  Although after the delivery there's a whole new ball game going on that's not very fun.
• Tinkling in my pants - now I had quite a few close, close calls, but managed to keep it in.
• Round ligament pain

Now everything in the blog is not everything that happened to me.  I had quite a few gross pregnancy things that occurred that no one tells you is going to happen, not even in the books.  Especially the recovery part.

The Package Has Landed!

Most of you already know, but for those of you who don't, Cookie has arrived!  And for those of you who have been waiting on baited breath for a name...

Sweet Cheeks Muscolino
Wednesday, January 26th, 2011
8 lbs, 5 oz
21 inches

Good lord she is a big baby.  The 6-7 lb deal I thought we were making in utero did not come to fruition...thank goodness she came 2 weeks early!

My water broke at 1:30 AM on January 26th although I didn't know it was my water breaking.  It wasn't the traditional gush that you see in the movies for me...I actually thought I was tinkling myself for about 45 minutes.  Now I thought, "Is this my water breaking?" since that moment is supposed to get an immediate call to the OB, but just couldn't be shure.  I actually woke Nick up at around 1:45AM and said, "I think my water broke, but I'm not sure - just go back to sleep." And he did.

At 2:15 PM the contractions started.  And, yes, there's no mistaking what a contraction is - I can't believe I thought I could ever not know.  Now, from what I understood, I would most likely labor at home for hours so I didn't even worry about starting to count them (although the possible water breakage was always in the back of my mind).  I woke Nick up at about 2:30 PM and told him, "I'm having contractions."  I never seen someone shoot out of bed so fast.  I explained it would be a while, but I wanted to let him know and he should go back to bed.  And he did.

The thing was, the contractions hurt pretty badly and felt like they were coming pretty frequently so I decided to start timing.  My OB told me to call the office if I had 6-8 contractions for 2 hours straight.  After 1  hour I'd had 20 contractions about 2-5 minutes apart all lasting any where from 20 secondds to a full minute.  Then I had a gush - which convinced me my water broke.  I woke up Nick and we called the OB's office.  The answering service didn't even page the OB on call and said - go straight to the hospital.

We brushed our teeth, got the bags together and I grabbed my wallet - at the last minute I ran back in the house to grab a sweatshirt (it was cold outside at 4AM!).  We drove to Scripps La Jolla - it's about 10 - 15 minutes away with no traffic.  We parked, started to get out and I realized I forgot my wallet.  The ONE piece I was responsible for was at the house still.  We got back in the car and drove home, picked up the wallet, and headed back.  So with that detour we didn't make it up to L&D until 5 AM.  The car rides were horrible - contractions sucked. 

Now for those of you who have asked, you know that I was going to fell out the labor process and try to go natural if I could do it.  About 15 minutes into my contractions at HOME I knew I'd be getting drugs.  Those were the beginning contractions and they were terrible for me.  I think the issue was I had been under the impression that I would have more time between them...like 5-10 minutes in the early phase of pregnancy...mine were right on target at every 2-3 minutes.  Not much of a break!

Got to the hospital and I made it until 7 AM until I made the epidural call.  I probably could have gone longer, but the anesthesiologist had a c-section and if I didn't get it at 7 AM I'd be SOL until 8:15 AM (and that's as long as everything went well).  I wasn't going to wait that long.

Epidurals are HEAVEN!  I labored well until about 2 hours before pushing and I started getting this intense pressure...everyone says pressure.  What no one told me is that the "pressure" is the same sensation as wanting to go number 2!  I wasn't fully dilated so I had to lay around for 2 hours with the sensation of having to go to the bathroom.  As we got closer, the sensation gets more intense.  And then all of sudden it was time.

Wow - pushing felt so good...only problem was, when I stopped pushing I still had the intense pressure.  It also gets more intense as the baby descends down.  I pushed for about 3 hours, 10 minutes.  Cookie was a bit bigger than any one anticipated.  At 2 hours the OB was favoring c-section, but noted I was in no distress and Cookie was in no distress so I could push for another hour if I'd like (you could see she wasn't convinced this baby was going to be delivered vaginally).  I wasn't convinced I could do it, but the nurse told me that she was pretty close to crowning and she thought I could do it...so another hour of pushing.

In the end, we ended up with a vaccum assist, I was told by everyone in the room that I was an impressive pusher and both the OB and nurse were impressed I pushed that well for 3 hours.  Cookie born without the c-section I was hoping to avoid.  When I saw the size of her after, I'm shocked I did too.

Now my fellow ladies, you can read all the books you want and be as prepared as you can be, but no one really prepares you for the ugly after.  I'm not going to share that with everyone, just know you're girl parts - very, very, very unhappy after.  I'm glad I had friends to lean on and grill about it because I was prepared with some supplies. 

Cookie if officially 1 week old today and considering what I felt like when we were discharged last Friday, I can't believe how quickly it all starts healing.  I'm still pretty swollen, but I think that's starting to go away because the scale is starting to lower each day 2-3 lbs.  My carpal tunnel is gone in the right hand, but rearing its ugly head in the left (I think it's actually worse).  I'm going to call the OB today because it's really hindering how I can hold Cookie.

Here's some highly anticipated photos...she's pretty incredibly cute I must say.  Look at those cheeks!  She looks just like her mommy with the exception of the really dark hair - that's all daddy!



So happy for the epidural and my ice chips.





Already tuckering mommy out...




The family...think Daddy's tired?




Little Mookie still isn't quite sure what to make of Cookie.






 

37 Weeks

So I don't know if this is a "WOOT WOOT!" or a "YIKES!"  We've changed fruits again, no more honeydew (which I don't like any way) and become a watermelon (which I love)...but this is the last fruit and the watermelong will now be squeeze through a jar opening.  Mixed feelings right now.

TOTAL WEIGHT GAIN: Had the OB visit today...weight has tapered off and we didn't gain ANYTHING.  Whew.  That 5 lbas in 2 weeks really scared me.  We're sitting pretty at about 30 lbs total gain.

MOVEMENT:Very frequent, big movements - now getting painful about a third of the time. My stomach actually gets lumpy at times. Hiccups are continuing every couple of days.  You can also see a little wave roll across my tummy.  I think it's her little bump swishing back and forth.

CRAVINGS: Nada.

SYMPTOMS: Emotional ups and downs, major forgetfulness, missing feet, crazy dreams, mild heartburn, spicy food aversion, very frequent urination, mild constipation, lower back pain, frequent hip pain while sleeping, middle of the night insomnia from the 3-4 times I wake up every night to pee, swelling of the feet and hands, uterine discomfort, faint linea nigra, minimal stretch marks on left and right hip and left and right inner thigh, mild fatigue, mild shortness of breath, general feeling of uncomfortableness, carpal tunnel. 

Two things I've been forgetting to mention, but have had for several weeks - gorgeous, gorgeous pregnancy hair.  I haven't had it cut since my first trimester and it's this shiny, silky beautiful hair.  I'll be sad to see it go.  I'm going to be seeing Kevin Ray for a cut this Saturday.  I don't want it all to fall out post baby, but I know it will happen.  Second thing, what is up with this nasal congestion?  I blow my nose at least twice a day and I get snot that must be attached to my brain.  When it comes out that's where it feels like it ends!

Still only that one episode of the Braxton-Hicks contractions.

New this week - menstrual like cramping...OB said it was contractions, yikes!  They don't particularly hurt, just uncomfortable...just like that time of the month.  So now I get to be swollen, fat, uncomfortable and now I feel like I'm getting my period.  Still, I wouldn't trade it for how I felt the first trimester!

BELLY BUTTON: I think it's somewhat of an outtie now. You can see the top half poke through my shirt now...the bottom is just beginning to start to become an outtie.  It's not as terrible as I had imagined it would be.  The carpal tunnel is worse.

PREPARATIONS: Carpet for family room is ordered, but won't be installed until it's received...two weeks from now.  *sigh*  We didn't plan that one very well.

Car seat is in, San Diego Highway Patrol will do a check on Saturday.  We'll see how well Nick & I did.

Nick started installing baseboards...since labor has technically kind of begun, he's working in high gear now.

MILESTONES: As noted above, OB visit today.  75% effaced (thinning of the cervix), 1 cm dialated (in one week!), Cookie has moved 1 cm closer to the outside world since last week. 

Nick was so adorable, he's so excited.  It's infectious and there was no true panicking on my part this week.  It's really great to have him home.

WEEKLY WISDOM: Make the right choices for you and your labor.  The best you can do is what you think is right for you and your baby.  Stick by it and don't let others sway you otherwise, only you know what's right for you and your labor and delivery.